Lightbulb jokes? For filmmakers and screenwriters? Really? We take no responsibility for these jokes – they have been collected in the office over the years, and we finally decided to put them up for you to enjoy,
Have we missed any? Please add them into the comments box below.
Enjoy these lightbulb jokes:
Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say “I could’ve done that.”
Q: How many actors or actresses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine: one to screw it in and the other eight to hold the mirror.
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That’s electric’s job
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It’s not a bulb, it’s a globe.
Q: How many Director’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one… but how do you get him in there with the cute blonde?
Q: How many Director’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one more, guys, I promise.
Q: How many DP’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, if he’s got a good crew to do it.
Q: How many DP’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. No, two. No… How many do we have on the truck?
Q: How many Superstar Actor’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One: They just hold it and the whole world revolves around them.
Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb
A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I’ve got this neat candle holder…
Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If we change the light bulb, we’ll have to change everything.
Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin’ he looked doing it.
Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.
Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: “Nobody said I needed doubles on that!”
Q: How many PA’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine……..one to do it and eight others to wish they’d been asked.
Q: How many PA’ does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What’s a light bulb?
Q: How many over eager PA’s does it take to screw in a li…
A: Done!
Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Executive Producers don’t screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
Q: How many entertainment lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We don’t know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.
Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Well, first let’s talk about the concept behind this whole “light bulb” thing.
Q: How many script editors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One & a writer. The SE only tells the writer how to do it properly
Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
Q: How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The bulbs IN and it’s staying IN!
Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: WHAT?
Q: How many 1st AD‘s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Why the f–k are you asking me that question? Can’t you see I’m busy!
Q: How many 2nd AD’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Uh…standby, I’ll check on that.
Q: How many UPM‘s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None! If you’d just make it a day exterior we wouldn’t be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!”
Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One — but it’s an 8 hour minimum.
Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: November.
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to put it in, and one to complain that it’s electrified.
Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
Did You Know?
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- Raindance members support indie film, and enjoy a range of benefits
Raindance promotes and supports independent filmmaking and filmmakers.
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The Raindance Film Festival runs each Summer in London’s Leicester Square.
Raindance has been delivering film training since 1992. A wide range of Open Classes to a 2 year HND Level 5 BTEC in Moving Images to a Postgraduate Film Degree are delivered to students on five continents, both in person and online.
