After thirty-three years of staging Raindance — Europe’s largest and longest-running celebration of fiercely independent cinema, I’ve learned that it’s never just the films that make a festival unforgettable.
It’s the characters who roam the foyers, crowd the bars, hijack the Q&As, and occasionally corner you with a 17-minute pitch about a dystopian love story set in Milton Keynes. Raindance is a living, breathing ecosystem of artists, obsessives, opportunists, philosophers, and people who accidentally wandered in thinking this was a pop-up wine tasting.
And after three decades of observing this tribe in its natural habitat, I can confirm: some of them really shouldn’t be left alone with a microphone, a volunteer, or anyone with a drink in their hand.
So, with affection, accuracy, and an extra measure of snark — here are 7 Types of Film Festival Attendees: Raindance Edition.
Films don’t make a festival.
People do.
And some of those people should never be left unattended near a microphone, an afterparty, or a volunteer with a clipboard.
Here’s your field guide.
1. The “I Was Here Before It Was Cool” Purist
Spotted by: Telling everyone they attended Raindance in 1993.
They haven’t actually seen a film since Diva (1981), but don’t worry — they will still lecture every young filmmaker about “real independent cinema” while blocking the entrance to Screen 3.
Favourite phrase: “Back when Raindance was dangerous…”
2. The Jury Member Who Takes It Very Seriously
Spotted by: Wearing sunglasses indoors + carrying a notebook labelled ART.
You would think they’re judging Cannes.
They will analyse a micro-short about a talking toaster with the philosophical intensity of Nietzsche.
At some point they’ll whisper to you:
“I just don’t think people understand what I’m doing with criticism.”
And you will nod sympathetically because they have to hand out the award later.
3. The Volunteer Running the Entire Festival With Tape and Sheer Willpower
Spotted by: Carrying seven radios, two tote bags, and the emotional weight of 300 filmmakers.
They can solve any problem except their own sleep schedule.
If you ask where Screen 5 is, they will teleport you there.
If you ask how long the queue is, they will stare into the abyss and whisper:
“It never ends.”
Buy them a drink. They deserve it. They won’t accept it, but they deserve it.
4. The Midnight Bar Philosopher
Spotted by: Delivering a 40-minute monologue about “the death of cinema” while drinking someone else’s Guinness.
They have never programmed a film, made a film, or watched a film that wasn’t on YouTube at 1.25x speed.
But at 1:47 a.m., they become the Plato of Soho.
Favourite quote: “What is a story, really?”
Will vanish before the bill arrives.
5. The “Networking Is My Cardio” Indie Climber
Spotted by: Jogging from panel to panel like they’re in a networking triathlon.
They don’t watch films — they “touch base.”
They “circle back.”
They “grab 5 minutes” with you while physically pinning you to the wall.
If you make eye contact, you will receive a 3-minute pitch about a sci-fi rom-com they “could totally shoot on an iPhone if you have a spare £150,000.”
6. The Raindance Loyalist Filmmaker
Spotted by: Submitting a film, attending three courses, pitching another film, and planning to submit again next year.
They know every volunteer by name.
They have six Raindance tote bags.
Elliot once nodded at them in the foyer and they are now spiritually bound to the festival.
Every year they say: “This time I’m only seeing two films.”
Every year they see 47.
7. The “I Only Came for the Free Drinks” Industry Ghost
Spotted by: Somehow appearing at every VIP event despite not being on any list.
They will introduce themselves as a producer “working on a slate” (translation: no actual films).
They drink the free prosecco, deliver a 20-minute speech about the British film industry being “on the brink of something huge,” then vanish into the London night like a taxpayer-funded spectre.
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If you’ve spotted yourself — or worse, several of your friends — in this list, congratulations: you are exactly the kind of glorious chaos that keeps Raindance alive after 33 years. Festivals aren’t built on red carpets or big budgets. They’re built on people like you: the purists, the hustlers, the philosophers, the loyalists, and the ghosts who somehow infiltrate every VIP bar known to humankind.
Which is the perfect moment to mention our Holiday Festival Pass Sale, where — believe it or not — you can save 37% on a Raindance pass. Yes, that’s real. No, you don’t need a secret code. Just click, claim, and prepare to experience Europe’s most outspoken, most rebellious, and most passionately independent film festival at a fraction of the price.
Join us. Bring your chaos. Bring your stories.
Raindance is waiting.
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Photo Credit: Bertie Watson
I founded Raindance Film Festival in 1993 because the British film industry was closed, polite, and congratulating itself while shutting new filmmakers out.
I co-founded the British Independent Film Awards in 1998 because British indie film deserved more than a shrug, a pat on the head, and a Tuesday night screening.
Raindance didn’t start as a brand. It started as a rebellion: film training without gatekeepers, a festival without permission, and a community built by filmmakers who weren’t waiting to be invited in.
Later, we took it global: Toronto, Vancouver, New York, LA, Berlin, and Brussels, because independent film doesn’t belong to one city, one class, or one accent.
I’ve produced 700+ short films and seven features, including Deadly Virtues (2014) and ALICE, which won the SXSW Grand Jury Prize (2019) not because someone “discovered” us, but because the work earned its place.
I’ve written three books used by filmmakers worldwide because too many courses taught compliance instead of survival.
In 2009, I was awarded a PhD for services to film education, ironic, given that most of my career has been about tearing down the rules that education insisted you follow.
I don’t believe in waiting for permission.I believe in making work, building systems, and forcing the industry to catch up.
Specialties: Independent Film (the real kind) · Producing · Writing · Film Education · Festivals · Breaking Broken Systems
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