With the big day drawing ever closer and festive horrors on the big screen, Nina Romain looks at mistletoe-themed murders
“If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.” The world’s most famous Christmas-hater famously lists some festive ways to die, but surely the silver screen provides more famous ways to die on the season of goodwill?
Leaving aside the famous argument about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas horror, and the comedy Christmas violence of Home Alone, December has always been a great time to die on screen.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (2025), currently in cinemas, keeps the gory themes of the 1984 original and shows that the festive season can be a killer. The remake still has a serial killer called Billy, who dresses as Santa to murder those who deserve a gory end. This Santa’s “naughty list” sees punishments metered out in inventive ways over the festive break, as he believes that “guns are for pussies” so prefers some more mistletoe-themed murders.
These include Billy’s Old Nick impaling a victim on a pair of antlers, wielding a bow and arrow and strangling someone with Christmas tree lights. He also keeps a bloodstained advent calendar which he gorily marks with the blood of his victims. There are some Holly Jolly Christmases all round, as Billy finishes off a quick festive killing spree by pulling bullets out his knee and splashing some festive brandy on the wound to cauterise it, while swigging from a mug marked “Santa’s Little Helper”.
He also ends a murder spree by killing an escaping victim through the snowy forest with an axe, to slice off the top of her skull. Later, after the body is found, he is asked by the police if he knew the victim. He pauses thoughtfully, then in probably the film’s best oneliner, replies innocently: “Not…. off the top of my head”.
Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) sees Victorian festive murders include being clawed by a Christmas turkey dinner, drowning in an ice-encrusted river, and getting run down by a horse and carriage on a snowy cobbled street.
Gremlins certainly know how to get in the festive spirit. When they descend on Christmas Eve in the 1984 black comedy, their owners are attacked by a Christmas tree and launched upstairs in a stair lift to smash out a window. In return, the furry critters get fried in a microwave like a tasty festive snack, dissected in a juicer, and beheaded by an ornamental sword.
So grab a spoon for that boiled pudding and let the mayhem continue on the silver screen – if you’re looking to meet your maker in a backdrop of snow of ice, horror is the way to go. Meanwhile, should you see anyone approach you with a festive piece of holly…
