I’m Still Ethan is an award-winning short film told through the eyes of a young boy during the aftermath of his father’s imprisonment. In the year of making the film we watched demonstrations of children becoming products of their environment – particularly boys with absent fathers – in the likes of Calm with Horses; Sorry I Missed You; This is England; Moonlight; Top Boy; The Young Offenders. In writing and making this world, we were focused solely on what’s left behind at home and not on the prison experience of Ethan’s father. We’ve all seen a million prison dramas and we loved watching Time; Clinks; The Night Of and many more – but the perspective of a child/family who’s left to navigate the void of a parent – who’s gone but not died – was not one we could find in mainstream media. We were interested in exploring the punishment that those families were facing, and the invisibility of their sentence.
As children we often internalise disturbing events. We don’t question our experience or voice trauma as we often lack the words to vocalise our needs, and the objectivity to know what’s right. We partnered with organisations and charities around the world who’re providing support to better understand the psychological impact of parental imprisonment. We learned that over 60% of sons of prisoners enter the justice system, and if your mother goes to prison your chances of incarceration reach 90%. This project is part of a movement towards raising awareness of the 312,000+ children in the UK who’re affected every year.
Our research quickly became political; we learned of how sufficient support and resources can change a child’s life. We were inspired by the likes of Help; I, Daniel Blake; This Is Going to Hurt – stories which capture the strain on public resources. As with the first two, we also filmed and worked out of the North East; we hired locals, partnered with NE’s NEPACS and obtained a match-funding grant from NE’s LEP of £5,000.
We wanted to tell of a world where it would be ok for our protagonist to be emotional about their experience; where he didn’t need to hide from what had happened. This world exists on the other side of judgement and shame. On this note, we were inspired by Channel 4’s It’s a Sin for its tribute to a cause, its attack on prejudice, and for its celebration of people’s “differences”. Despite being a period show, its subjects and the characters’ experiences still ring true today, and it’s committed to raising awareness.
We believe awareness is everything and that art can change the way we see life. When it came to finding the music for I’m Still Ethan we knew we wanted to work with an artist who aligns with our mission to shed light on forgotten or unheard perspectives. Kae Tempest’s Hold Your Own was the perfect message for the piece. The film undoubtedly faces some harsh truths but it is ultimately a story of faith in better days to come; in better support networks for families and children; in a world where victims don’t become perpetrators and Ethans don’t follow in their parents’ footsteps.
We wanted to show that for Ethan, his relationship with his father is so important, and that whatever his father’s transgressions, that relationship cannot just disappear. We wanted to show that grief and loss manifest in a myriad of ways – there is no one size that fits all. Our journey with Ethan ends with him and his mother in the car on their way to the prison to see Ethan’s father. The credits are rolling long before we get to the prison and see Ethan’s reunion, but what we’re left with is Ethan’s anticipation and excitement, he’s unashamedly joyous to be seeing his father.
Watch the film below:
Amelia O’Loughlin
Amelia is a filmmaker, actor and the founder of award-winning production house Freida Films. Since establishing the company in 2020 she’s been at the forefront of six productions across scripted/non-scripted film. Current documentaries in development include An Ode to Cinema following the life of BAFTA-winning film industry veteran Michael Stevenson, and The Queen of Soho – an exclusive biography on cultural icon and punk and New Romantic pioneer, Philip Sallon.
She aspires to find bold, brave and topical perspectives. Her debut short, I’m Still Ethan has screened across Europe, Asia, America and prepares for its UK premiere in 2023. To Butcher a Bird (2022) and Episodes Of (2021) are getting ready for the festival circuit.
Phoebe Lorenz
Phoebe Lorenz is a British-German actor, filmmaker and founder of Delilah Films, an independent production company creating thought-provoking work. Delilah is building an exciting slate and is currently in pre-production with Spiked, a North-East black comedy on needle-spiking co-created by Phoebe and BBC New Creative Emma Zadow, in association with Northern Fortress Films and in partnership with charity Spike Aware UK. I’m Still Ethan was Phoebe’s entrance into filmmaking and it’s just won the Luna Award for Best Director at Islantilla Cinefórum. Having trained at ALRA, Phoebe has worked both on stage and screen. She is currently in development with her first feature.
