Writing sex scenes responsibly in movies involves a delicate recipe. The skilful writer blends artistic vision, sensitivity to the subject matter, and adherence to ethical standards.
Here’s a detailed approach to writing sex scenes responsibly:
Purpose and Context:
Ensure that the scene serves a clear purpose within the story. It should contribute to character development or the plot, rather than being gratuitous.
Communication and Consent:
All parties involved—actors, directors, and crew—should have a clear understanding of what the scene entails. Open communication about the boundaries and comfort levels of those involved is crucial. This includes thorough discussions and mutual consent on all aspects of the scene.
Use of Intimacy Coordinators:
Intimacy coordinators are professionals who specialize in choreographing sex scenes. They ensure that the actors feel safe and respected during these scenes. Intimacy coordinators also help communicate the needs and boundaries of actors to the rest of the production team.
Check out the Intimacy Coordination Lockdown Session at Raindance
Clear Choreography:
Just like fight scenes, sex scenes should be meticulously choreographed. This ensures that every movement is consensual and agreed upon in advance, reducing the likelihood of discomfort or misunderstandings during filming.
Closed Sets:
Limit the number of people present during the filming of intimate scenes to those who are essential. This helps create a safer and more comfortable environment for the performers.
Respect for Actor Boundaries:
Respect actors’ personal boundaries and include them in the decision-making process regarding nudity and physical contact. Use modesty garments and physical barriers (like flesh-colored coverings) as needed.
Post-Production Sensitivity:
Be thoughtful about how these scenes are edited and presented to ensure they convey the intended message without sensationalising or exploiting the actors.
Examples of Responsible Sex Scenes in Movies
Here are some movies known for handling their sex scenes with care and responsibility:
“National Anthem” 2013
A tender and exceptionally well choreographed love scene that showed LGBT sex in a classy and understated way that provoked the imagination. National Anthem was the closing night film at Raindance 2024. It opens in America on July 12th 2024.
“Blue Valentine” (2010):
This film used an intimacy coordinator. Production featured extensive discussions between the actors (Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams) and the director about the boundaries and nature of the sex scenes to ensure they were portrayed with sensitivity and realism.
“Normal People” (2020):
Although a TV series, “Normal People” is notable for its use of an intimacy coordinator who helped craft some of the most intimate scenes with a deep sense of respect and realism, setting a standard for other productions.
“The Handmaid’s Tale” (2017-present):
This series involved scenes of sexual violence but is handled with extreme care. The production uses intimacy coordinators, and there is a strong focus on the impact of these scenes rather than their explicitness.
Each of these examples reflects a thoughtful approach to handling sensitive content, ensuring that the portrayal is appropriate, consensual, and respectful to everyone involved.
Photo Credit: Bertie Watson
I founded Raindance Film Festival in 1993 because the British film industry was closed, polite, and congratulating itself while shutting new filmmakers out.
I co-founded the British Independent Film Awards in 1998 because British indie film deserved more than a shrug, a pat on the head, and a Tuesday night screening.
Raindance didn’t start as a brand. It started as a rebellion: film training without gatekeepers, a festival without permission, and a community built by filmmakers who weren’t waiting to be invited in.
Later, we took it global: Toronto, Vancouver, New York, LA, Berlin, and Brussels, because independent film doesn’t belong to one city, one class, or one accent.
I’ve produced 700+ short films and seven features, including Deadly Virtues (2014) and ALICE, which won the SXSW Grand Jury Prize (2019) not because someone “discovered” us, but because the work earned its place.
I’ve written three books used by filmmakers worldwide because too many courses taught compliance instead of survival.
In 2009, I was awarded a PhD for services to film education, ironic, given that most of my career has been about tearing down the rules that education insisted you follow.
I don’t believe in waiting for permission.I believe in making work, building systems, and forcing the industry to catch up.
Specialties: Independent Film (the real kind) · Producing · Writing · Film Education · Festivals · Breaking Broken Systems
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Excellent advice. Very useful not only for writers and filmmakers, but also for actors – informing them of their rights and what support they can ask for and expect on set.