Sex? Do I have your attention? They say that sex sells. As we move further into the 2020’s it seems that sex in the movies is about to make a comeback. Writing compelling sex scenes involves careful consideration of several factors. These include the tone of the movie, the development of the characters, and the purpose of the scene within the story.
In a hurry? Take the ‘Writing sex scenes” evening class at Raindance
Here are some steps and tips for writing an effective sex scene:
Understand Its Purpose:
First, determine the purpose of the sex scene in the narrative. Your sex scene should advance the plot or deepen the understanding of the characters. Consider what the scene reveals about the characters’ relationships, emotions, or personal growth. A sex scene purely for the sex act itself borders on porn.
Set the Tone:
The tone of the scene should match the overall tone of the film, whether it’s romantic, intense, playful, or dramatic. The tone will guide how explicit or subdued the scene should be.
Focus on Emotions:
More than the physical act, focus on the emotions and feelings between the characters. What are they thinking and feeling? This can be more engaging and meaningful than graphic details. R%emeber the Golden rule of stgroytelling: People forget facts. They remember the emotion of your story.
Use Descriptive Language:
Describe the setting, the senses, and the actions in a way that evokes imagery without being overly explicit. Think about the sounds, the lighting, and tactile details. As in real life, consider the difference between men and women. Women lovd foreplay. Guys tend to get right in there. In a movie sex scene, consider the foreplay.
Consider the Dialogue:
Dialogue can be minimal or heavily used depending on the scene. When used, it should feel genuine and contribute to the intimacy of the moment.
Be Mindful of Pacing:
The pacing should reflect the mood of the scene. A rushed scene can feel jarring or tasteless, while a too-slow scene might drag the overall narrative.
Respect the Characters:
Keep the portrayal of the characters consistent with their development in the story. Ensure that the scene respects their boundaries and personalities, providing a realistic representation of their relationship.
Comply with Ratings and Guidelines:
Be aware of film rating systems and what is permissible within different ratings if the film aims to reach a broader audience. sexual swearworeds will ususally bump a rating to 18+ quicker than a scene of violence.
Feedback and Revisions:
Like any part of scriptwriting, getting feedback from others can provide insights into how the scene is perceived. Be open to making revisions to ensure the scene integrates well into the movie. Writing classes can be useful. I find the Screenwriters Foundation Certificate enables writers the chance to develop the structure of their stories.
Legal and Ethical Considerations:
Be mindful of the actors’ comfort and legal considerations regarding nudity and simulated sex scenes. Clear communication and consent from all parties involved are crucial.
Writing a sex scene requires a balance between authenticity and sensitivity, making sure it adds value to the story and is handled with care.
Movies With Compelling Sex Scenes
There are several movies known for their well-executed and meaningful sex scenes that align with the guidelines previously mentioned. I want to highlight how the writers of these movies elicited emotion. Here are a few of my favourite examples:
National Anthem (2024)
the outstanding closing night film at Raindance 2024 contains several sex scenes in whichg the careful staging left most of the emotion to the viewer. with most triggered in the mind of the audience. And, as wigth most mo=vies, was choreographed by an intimacy coordinator.
Out of Sight (1998):
Directed by Steven Soderbergh and starring George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez, this film features a scene that is notable for its intense emotional connection and creative use of cross-cutting between the act and afterglow. It’s a perfect example of using the scene to deepen character relationships and drive the plot.
The Notebook (2004):
This film, based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel and directed by Nick Cassavetes, includes a tender and passionate scene between the characters played by Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. It’s built upon the deep emotional buildup throughout the movie, making it a climactic and significant moment that is both tasteful and deeply emotional.
Brokeback Mountain (2005):
Ang Lee’s portrayal of a complex emotional and sexual relationship between two cowboys, played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, includes scenes that are impactful yet handled with sensitivity and respect for the characters’ emotional states and the film’s broader themes of forbidden love.
Blue Valentine (2010):
This film uses its intimate scenes to explore the evolution and eventual deterioration of a relationship, portrayed by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. The contrast between their passionate early encounters and the strained intimacy of later scenes powerfully reflects the stages of their relationship.
Moonlight (2016)
Directed by Barry Jenkins, this film features a scene that is more about the emotional realization and acceptance of self than the physical act. The scene is delicately handled, focusing on the characters’ expressions and interactions, which speak volumes about their internal conflicts and desires.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019):
This movie by Céline Sciamma includes a scene that is built upon the slowly developing emotional connection and tension between the two main characters. It’s a beautifully shot and evocatively acted moment that feels integral to the narrative and character development.
These scenes are praised not only for their execution but also for how they serve the story, enhancing the emotional depth and development of the characters involved. Each scene respects the film’s tone and the authenticity of the characters, making them memorable and meaningful components of their respective films.
Ways Raindance Can Help Your Writing
A taster evening; 99 Minute Film School – a single evening explaining how the film industry works.
A taster One Day Masterclass: Saturday Film School – discover the ins-and-outs of writing, directing and producing a film in an information packed and entertaining day
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Study filmmaking or acting over 2 years at one of our 3 international campuses! This is a full-time University level course. Through Raindance, students will have the opportunity to attend renowned courses delivered by industry professionals and attend our networking events to develop further opportunities.
The Raindance BA in Filmmaking or Performance: The Raindance Film School Top-Up BA (Hons) in Film and Performing Arts Practices is a one year practical course. It’s been designed to provide aspiring, and existing, Film and Performing Arts practitioners the opportunity to develop their existing academic or professional experience up to BA level in a chosen pathway or pathways (producing, directing, screenwriting or acting).
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Photo Credit: Bertie Watson
I founded Raindance Film Festival in 1993 because the British film industry was closed, polite, and congratulating itself while shutting new filmmakers out.
I co-founded the British Independent Film Awards in 1998 because British indie film deserved more than a shrug, a pat on the head, and a Tuesday night screening.
Raindance didn’t start as a brand. It started as a rebellion: film training without gatekeepers, a festival without permission, and a community built by filmmakers who weren’t waiting to be invited in.
Later, we took it global: Toronto, Vancouver, New York, LA, Berlin, and Brussels, because independent film doesn’t belong to one city, one class, or one accent.
I’ve produced 700+ short films and seven features, including Deadly Virtues (2014) and ALICE, which won the SXSW Grand Jury Prize (2019) not because someone “discovered” us, but because the work earned its place.
I’ve written three books used by filmmakers worldwide because too many courses taught compliance instead of survival.
In 2009, I was awarded a PhD for services to film education, ironic, given that most of my career has been about tearing down the rules that education insisted you follow.
I don’t believe in waiting for permission.I believe in making work, building systems, and forcing the industry to catch up.
Specialties: Independent Film (the real kind) · Producing · Writing · Film Education · Festivals · Breaking Broken Systems
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